Redd's Vocabulary:

LOYAL - unswerving in allegiance; faithful in allegiance to one's lawful sovereign or government; faithful to a private person to whom allegiance is due; faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product

A relationship is a CONTRACT. Contracts are made between two or more parties who intend to keep their word. These parties must first have a proven history or track record of INTEGRITY. It's hard and almost IMPOSSIBLE to track integrity when we don't know an individual or group very well. Unfortunately, most relationships DO NOT work because people don't devote enough time to (first) learning about someone they may be attracted to. Physical attraction, sexual relations, and good conversation are NOT measuring rods for a person's INTEGRITY! Many people who have mastered conversation and sex still fail in the GOOD CHARACTER department.

QUESTION: Why do people cheat?

People cheat because they don't have DISCIPLINE; which is a component of good character! It sounds old fashioned; and it is. But if you want the best in life, you need to possess TIMELESS qualities. Good character is definitely a timeless quality. It never goes out of style! People cheat (break their word and relationship contract) because they haven't practiced self-control. It's hard for people who are promiscuous to instantly accept a new way of life. "Old habits die hard!" So if you meet someone who is accustomed to having multiple sexual partners, they are more likely to be disloyal and unfaithful when put into a relationship situation. You must search for someone with set standards who values sex within the confines of a relationship; a rare jewel these days.

Humans are mentally weak (on average). We tend to let our (negative) influences and experiences color our behavior. We watch infidelity on television and listen to anti-relationship music on the radio. We don't see a lot of healthy relationships among our parents or our friends. Plus, there is no manual outlining the perfect relationship. So we tend to live an "anything goes" kind of life and draw from all of those negative influences and experiences. It takes a mentally strong person to look at all of that negativity and want to turn it around. It takes a bold leader (unpopular minority) to separate from the general public (popular majority) and work hard at building good character; even though the majority chooses to do the exact opposite. It's also very hard to find a person who has TIMELESS VALUES and GOOD CHARACTER because humans are weak and choose to follow the crowd rather than choosing to be different and better. So, people cheat because they've been programmed to do so and don't take the time to educate themselves and treat others the way they want to be treated.

QUESTION: Are there any guys who really shun the cheating ways?

OF COURSE THERE ARE! However, these guys have the timeless value system and good character that we spoke of above. They are a remnant of humanity. They are a small minority who choose to stay away from the wild and reckless majority. So, you won't find them in the club, at the bar, on an internet sex hook-up site, or hanging out in the areas where the popular majority congregate. These guys work hard, attend school, spend time with their relatives, and hang out with their friends doing things which enhance their lives and friendships. These guys want to take a few months to get to know other good people; without the pressure of sex or jumping into a relationship too quickly.

Once these good guys are sure that they've found someone who is compatible, they'll develop a friendship then commit to a relationship and NEVER cheat. Ironically, a lot of the good guys are already in healthy monogamous relationships. But there are still a few good guys who are single and ready to begin the slow and calculated process of building a tight friendship and entering into a relationship once the friendship is solidified. You just have to train your senses to identify a good guy!

Redd's Conclusion:

Until we return to TIMELESS VALUES and building GOOD CHARACTER, our family connections, our friendships, our relationships, and everything else in our lives will be DOOMED to FAIL! This requires a total change of mind and mentality. We have to start practicing sexual abstinence (or at least discretion by connecting with one person for an extended period of time although there may be no relationship commitment yet). We have to learn how to develop genuine friendships (which requires honestly and spending quality time together). We need to learn how to communicate in a healthy way (which requires a careful balance of speaking and listening). We must learn how to filter through our physical attraction and look for what's behind someone's eyes rather than under their clothes. It's definitely hard, but NOT at all impossible to accomplish! So, DON'T give up!

From my lips to your soul...

Redd

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