Though I appreciate your candid assessment of the situation, I must shift the focus from your "mate" to YOU!
I sympathize and empathize with your circumstance because I know you feel like a victim. The only problem is, you are a victim but you
are also the assailant. Meaning, you feel unappreciated and victimized but you have done this to yourself. You are your own "attacker!"
You don't acknowledge or appreciate your own value. You are a victim of your own self-esteem issues! Sounds harsh but it's the truth.
With all of the deception, infidelity and disrespect, you continued the relationship. By that, you enabled
this guy to treat you the way he has. You allowed someone to treat you like trash and tear you down emotionally. You trained him to
disrespect you consistently with no remorse. You've trained yourself to absorb these blows to your emotional body. Over time, it broke
you down. The only way to get a handle on this and build yourself up again is by GETTING AWAY FROM HIM!
If you were stable at one point in your life, it was definitely unwise for you to go "backward" by
incorporating instability into your life. You should NOT have taken on the responsibility of helping to pay his mom's bills, helping
to fix his credit rating, or attempting to "rescue" someone who is obviously comfortable with his station in life. He's comfortable
where he is because there was no improvement during or after the counseling. That should have been ANOTHER red flag for you! Now, you
need to consider your own emotional, mental, and even physical wellbeing by walking away and never turning back!
You spoke of LOVE! Love is mutual. Love is balanced. Love is kind, patient, honest, self-controlled,
faithful, respectful and hopeful. What you described doesn't fit that description. You need to connect with someone who brings what
you are bringing to the table. In order to determine that, you'll need to build a genuine friendship first. Get to know an individual
before commitments or sexual relations are added to the mix. A relationship is like a house. But a friendship is like the solid foundation
under that house. Infatuation and sex are not solid material for a foundation. They are equivalent to sand. Any house built on sand will
fall hard when the storms come. A house built on a solid foundation stands against almost any storm!
From my lips to your soul...
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