Wondering has your mind wandering all over the place. This guy who you are seeing sounds great, doesn't
mind that you have issues, and even accepts your issues! WOW... what more could you ask for!?! You seem to be with the perfect
person at the most imperfect point in your life. It happens, don't panic. The good thing is that this guy is standing by you!
Best thing to do is COMMUNICATE with him! Tell this guy what's on your mind so that he isn't in the dark. He obviously wants to walk through all of the ups and downs with you, so allow him to do just that. Pushing him away is not a good thing. It will only cause you to hold on to the unresolved issues you have [and need to resolve at this point in your life]! If you doubt yourself, talk about it. If you doubt him, talk about it [tactfully]. If you are unsure about the relationship, talk about it. Identify any issues and offer solid solutions. You must learn at this stage in life to develop strong relationships without running all the time, simply because you are nervous or scared. That's what it boils down to!
If you want this "incredible" guy to love you the way you love him, you have to free your mind first. You will have to allow yourself to be free [emotionally] with him. This is your opportunity to dump all of that old baggage and start fresh with someone who seems to care a great deal for you.
Don't be so anxious to try making what comes naturally evolve too quicky. In other words, allow the relationship and love to grow at a pace that flows with what you two have. This is no "T.V. dinner"... this is LOVE. Don't try to cook it faster than it's supposed to be cooked. LET IT SIMMER! Give love time to grow so that it will be healthy and strong like a firmly planted tree which isn't easily shaken or uprooted!
From my lips to your soul...
Redd