There is TENSION here. The tension occurs between being comfortable with who you are and considering making
a change to get what you want! It really depends on which is more important to you. If you are comfortable in your current state, then
you will find someone who will take you as you are. If you are uncomfortable in your current state, then you will change your diet and
exercise habits and work toward a better body. At the same time, be careful not to make changes because of the perceptions of other
people. That is always a set-up for failure!
You asked about the "no fat, no fem" emphasis. People have preferences. Simple as that. You can't be
upset about another person's preferences. There are things that you like and dislike. Things you are attracted to and turned off by.
It's part of being human. By the "no fat, no fem" emphasis, I'll make the assumption that these individuals are in good shape and are
fairly masculine. If that is the case, then it's logical for them to want the same characteristics they possess! I'm concerned about
why you are trying to get the attention of people who are looking for something you can't offer them [at this point in your life]. If
you find yourself in circles where people want the opposite of what you are and represent, you are just beating yourself up mentally
and emotionally. You need to remove yourself from those circles IMMEDIATELY! It's eating away at your self-esteem...and that becomes
UNATTRACTIVE too!
"Opposites attract" is a cliche, not a general rule! People generally like similarities [physical,
social, econimical, spiritual]. There are always exceptions to every rule, but exceptions are rare [although not completely unattainable].
With that said, try to avoid getting into a relationship with someone who isn't physically attracted to you. It won't work. Our society
is evolving into a very shallow physically oriented one. So a nice face and great personality don't go as far as they used to. Again,
you'll either be comfortable in your skin or make changes in order to get the attention of the people you are attracted to.
Let's deal with your family now. The best way to tell them about your sexual orientation is to first solidify
the relationship(s). In doing this, you'll really find out where they stand on the issue of sexuality which will help you determine the right
time to discuss your own. You may not want to come right out and "shock" everybody unless you think they can handle it. Keep in mind that we
live in an age where people question everybody's sexuality. Your desire to expose your sexuality may not actually be such a "shock" at all.
It seems as though your family members [especially your mother] are fairly open and won't totally reject you. Rejection on so many levels is
a big fear you have and must overcome! Your fear of rejection will continue to control your life until you face it head on! If you don't,
you will always be a slave to it!
From my lips to your soul...
Redd
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